MEANing

No matter how much I try

To be there for you,

When I can't be

kind and loving with myself,

Everything I try to push aside

Gets back in our way.

Even the things about me that I thought

Made me strong in the past,

Have anchored me in limitation when it comes to you.

I want us to be free.

I don’t care who was right.

I don’t care who was wrong.

No matter what happened,

I want to stop hurting now.

I am so mad.

So why do I feel so sane?

There is so much sad.

Where is it all coming from?

Digging through the mess for the blame,

Is just MEANing.

FUCK THAT!

It doesn’t matter why.

It’s messed up because

Fear has gained ground between us.

And because it has become normal for our

Fears to be met with MEANing.

They are ignored, denied, and judged.

Not accepted or attended to with love.

I want to meet the fear differently,

To scoop ME up and try again.

To choose compassion—for me and for you.

To accept this discomfort—and trust anyway.

It is completely okay—to not know

What the hell to do next.

I can give myself a minute. And give you one too.

We’re smart, we’ll figure it out.

No more MEANing.

Let’s play nice today.