Jumping in

When my daughter was little she decided to go up onto the high dive and jump off.

She had been swimming for awhile and had jumped off the regular diving board a few times, but never the high dive.

She climbed the ladder with ease and watched the others go off.

But she froze before going out onto the board.

She took her time, having a strong sense of herself.

There was quite a line forming, but she didn’t let it bother her.

She eventually walked to the end of the board and looked down.

I could see her standing, with courage, at the end of the board, trying to decide to jump off.

She stood there a very long time.

No one really harassed her,

she had a strong determination on her face.

She decided not to jump and walked back to the back of the board.

But sat down there for a minute and thought it through.

Then walked again to the end of the board and looked down.

Staying in the discomfort a long time.

She decided not to jump.

She walked back and climbed down the ladder.

I saw no shame or embarrassment in her mannerisms.

Just deep contemplation about not having jumped.

I had never seen her back down from doing any physical challenge before.

She had no lack of courage.

This was just different.

Last week we were driving somewhere,

Which is nearly always my time to talk with her now she’s nearing adulthood.

She was telling me that she and her best friend have a game they play when they go to the dock at the lake.

They always just immediately run down to the dock and jump off into the water without stopping.

She said it would be hard for her to jump when she would stop to think about it.

But, now it had become easy.

She had also had a bad experience in water a few summers ago which made her afraid of swimming in cold water.

But this practice of just jumping in had helped her get over that as well.

*****

I think I have been afraid to change my eating to completely clean.

I have thought about it from SO MANY various angles.

And tried many, many, many diets over the years.

I have been close for that past 4-5 years; organic only, no dairy or gluten, cleansing out 1-2x/year.

Healthy eating and daily exercise.

But I am still overweight.

Waiting for a way to change my diet for good.

No more diet plans.

And then I read a book with a bunch of research

About food information I didn't know.

It hit me hard.

And I looked more closely at the measurements of my health with my body at this size.

And decided it is time to change my life.

I jumped.

Is it really only day 3?

There is a little comfort in knowing that the first part will probably be a little more tough.

And that with practice, it will become easy.

I just have to get through this day.

No need to worry about the other ones.

Right now, I am okay.