Expecting

When I was pregnant

There was no choice but to surrender.

I was ready to allow our child

To be the divine revelation of change.

And change came—

It never stopped coming.

Along the way, so many

Expectations were made.

But, does life ever really 

Turn out the way we think it will?

I mean really.

Sit with that for just a minute.

Even when we get the exact 

Manifestation we are expecting,

Does it ever come without 

Some element of unexpectedness?

Is there an age 

At which we grow wise?

In which we surrender our childlike optimism

For presence and curiosity?

How much control do I think

I could possibly have?

What if I let go?

Simply let life be revealed to me?

No pushing.

No shaming or blaming.

Not inspired by a need for validation

Or motivated by necessity.

Just me, in this moment.

Allowing what is.

Inside of a pregnant pause.

Not know what or when we are expecting.

Want to hold my hand?

Something in me knows it will be soon.